40 Plus Woman

Imagine my surprise when I unwrapped the Haight-Ashbury Hippie Hemp soap thinking it would smell of pine and fresh air when in fact it smelled of my childhood.

I learned many things over the semester. This brings me immense joy that at 49 years old, I can experience newness, a spark, a rebirth. Whoever said an old dog can’t learn new tricks was WRONG!

I love Taos, New Mexico. It’s an understatement but it’s the closest adjective I can find to describe how I feel about the place. I’m going to try to express my adoration for Taos and New Mexico through photographs taken by David S. Martin. A picture is worth a thousand words…

Paul and Miriam Kaufman met the old-fashioned way. He picked her up at a bar, and they went immediately to his place and got it on. She heard the waterfall in his backyard almost immediately.

When I grow up, I want to be Tupac Shakur. I want to stand up against bullies, mean people, bad calls at sports events (like my indoor soccer games), for 40 plus woman who think they are invisible, for a society that makes anyone over the age of 25 feel like they’re old. I want to fight for teachers whose pay is cut every year while the CEOs of oil companies make a bazillion dollars. I want to come out swinging for equal pay for equal work, food justice and against plastic surgeons and the world we live in that bigger is better (boobs), smaller is lovelier (noses) and wrinkles should be erased.

I wasn’t a stripper but god knows I had daddy issues. A childhood spent not knowing my dad. Because I didn’t have much of a relationship with my dad growing up, I had no insight into men. I found it very difficult to navigate relationships with them.

Now I’m getting mad. Time, I’ve tried to be your friend. I’ve been your champion encouraging all of us in the middle of our lives–call a spade a spade, fucking middle aged–to buck up. This is the prime of our lives, I’d cheer. With age comes wisdom, peace and self-actualization. Rah! Rah! This is all true. But today all I see are wrinkles, brown spots and a soft belly. Today my reflection in the mirror is harsh, or maybe it’s the truth and today I’m having a hard time handling the truth.

Jaye Pratt will tell you she has dreams about Love Road Sanctuary, the daytime kind. She, and the rest of the people involved in Love Road, want to release as many as 1200 horse at the sanctuary. They want to give people an opportunity to experience and photograph these magnificent animals in free roaming herds. They also want to conserve the New Mexico land and habitat, the culture. She wants a place where people can learn about the history of America’s horses, their current plight, and have an opportunity to perhaps adopt a horse. She wants a restaurant where good, whole food is served, a cultural center, and a retreat for writers, artists, musicians, and others who want to get it away to a simpler time.

Our aunt loved flowers. I think of taking a cutting of her geraniums, but I never go in the front door. And would they survive winter outside anyway? If my aunt were here, they would be inside and she would be tending them now, but I don’t see them anywhere so I forget it and concentrate on stuffing the car so full we will never have to go back again.